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One of David’s sons was named Amnon. David also had a daughter named Tamar. Tamar was a beautiful young lady with a special gift that she was saving for a very special day — her wedding day! Amnon liked Tamar.
But a very yucky thing happened in Amnon’s heart. He let himself have a craving animal-desire to want Tamar and her gifts all for himself. Amnon said to himself, “I love Tamar so much I want her all to my-self, self, self.” And he pouted and whined and made himself sick from the feeeeeling of wanting something soooo badly.
Does that sound like love to you? No way. Amnon said he loved Tamar, but he really was just full of selfishness and wanted what he wanted. True love isn’t like that, is it? No. True love puts someone else above your SELF. True love wants the best thing for the other person — even if it means you can’t get what you want.
Self and satan try to tell us that what we “feeeeel” should get to make the rules of what we can say and do. But if you let how you “feeeeel” make the rules, rather than God, then all your feeeeel “good” selfishness will turn on you like a wild animal. Listen to what happens to Amnon’s “feelings.”
Since Amnon did not let God be the boss of his feelings, eventually he lied to get what he wanted. He hurt Tamar. He took from her and broke her special gift.
And as soon as he took what he wanted from Tamar, his selfish luvvvv feelings for her turned into yucky hate feelings. What he’d done to try to make himself “feel good” had only made him feel yucky — because being yucky makes you feel yucky. He was so angry and mean he even sent Tamar away, and never wanted to see her again.
Have you ever wanted something so, so, so much? Well, you may think that when you finally “get” what you reaaaallly wanted, you’re going to feel happy inside, but you won’t. That feeling of selfish want, want, wanting doesn’t make you feel happy. Instead it just makes you feel all the more yucky as you try to GET — WHAT — YOU — WANT.
So if you feel that yucky feeling of selfish want, want, wanting, then STOP. Make a choice to shut OFF the selfishness and turn on feelings of gratitude, kindness, forgiveness, and love.
Eventually Tamar’s body healed, but her heart and mind and life were still hurt and damaged for a long time. Another one of Tamar’s brothers named Absalom took care of her after this. But it never really resolved. Amnon didn’t say he was sorry and there was tension and fighting in David’s family because of it. Eventually Absalom killed Amnon.
There was no happy ending to this story.
Don’t sow yucky seeds in your heart. It will only make you feel yucky later.